How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
