Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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