i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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