Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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