lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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