seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
