Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
