I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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