Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
