In the future we'll all be gay
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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