my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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