he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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