every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
