Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
