I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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