White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
