Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Alive.
So much puke
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize