I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
