I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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