I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
