I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm getting married
To pizza
It's shark week go big or go home
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize