What did we do last night that was yellow?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
