Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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