you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
