I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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