toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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