we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
my shit smells like andre
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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