I'm jealous of your bromance
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
