I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
