There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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