So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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