I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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