Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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