I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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