Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
