i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
