Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
We were destined to go to rehab together
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
