Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize
