You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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