I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
