fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
