Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
operation harelip BJ is a go
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
