Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
