its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I understand Curling. That high.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
