But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I wish they made helmets for livers.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
