I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
