the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
