I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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