Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
