i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I think I just sharted jello shots
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
