ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I look better un-naked...
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
