If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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