The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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