Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
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