So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
