Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
