shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
