yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize