Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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