4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
