im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
