May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
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