Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
